Goals for the year 

Every year you should set yourself goals to reach, this can be anything! 

Places you want to see, people you want to meet, where you want to go in your career, fitness goals and many more. 

Today I will share with you my goals for the year and certain things I believed I lacked on last year. 

Number one,

Fitness, last year I worked so hard at the start of the year to get my body back in shape and I was doing so well untill I went on holiday and then I just gave up! What a waste. So this year I have promised myself that I will stick to it. I have joined the gym and started doing exesize DVDs and workouts from home. Rust has also been a big help as he really encourages me to go for my goal and he has been going on runs with me and supporting me though it! I have also been eating a lot healthier recently and once again I will stick it. Lean in 15- this book is amazing and all the recipes in there are so easy to make and taste amazing! 

Number two, 

Do what I enjoy. I need to stop putting everyone else before me for a change and actually think about myself, I’m going to be selfish! Haha. Everyone deserves to have some ‘me’ time and I believe it makes you appreciate life a lot more. My goal is to spend time with myself and people around me doing things that I enjoy and making amazing memories 🙂 

Number three, 

Further my career. I believe that I work extremely hard at what I do and I really enjoy it. So this year I am pushing myself to the next level. In anyway I can I will make the most out of my job, because at the end of the day who wants to be doing something their not happy with? 

Number four, 

Relationships. It’s time to focus on the people that mean most to me. Spending quality time with the people that are always there and taking no one for granted. Family, boyfriend and friends. Everyone deserves to have a good network around them. 

Number five, 

Finances. The boring one. I MUST set myself the goal to save save save!!  This time next year I want to be ready to purchase mine and rustys house and then get ready to set off and see the world! 

Number six, 

And finally, I need to set a goal to love myself. 

In life I believe you won’t get anywhere if you continue to be unhappy with yourself. Everyone has flaws and no one is perfect. Ignore what everyone looks like and ignore what everyone else is doing. Live your life the way YOU want and don’t worry about anyone else. You’re perfect just the way you are. (I need to tell myself this haha) so from now I need to stop worrying about life and understand that nothing is ever going to be perfect. Just be grateful for who you are and what you have. 🙂

  
lots of love x

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IM BACK

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BUSY BUSY BUSY, and breathe.

Im back, for good! I promise 🙂

This year has flown by already, 3 months down, and guess who’s birthday it is in just over a week… MINE.

The big 22, it will actually give me an excuse to go around singing..

I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT IM FEELING 22!! without people thinking i’m stupidly obsessed with taylor swift.

Im at that age now where its so hard to pick what you actually want for your birthday. When i was a child i could sit and literally circle 10,000 items in the Argos catalog.. now the only thing i could need from there is some pots and pans. Not particularly something i would like to receive for my birthday though.

So this year i think i will leave it down to my mum to find something nice as she is pretty good at that.

Life is going pretty swell at the moment, i had a rough end to last year again and ended up in hospital on numerous occasions but lets not dwell on the past!

Me and the Boyf have booked a holiday to Mexico in June which is going to be incredible. I have never been there before and we have found the perfect hotel with the perfect location. We will also be celebrating our 1 year anniversary out there, how cute.

AND i have only just realised that i will be able to swim with dolphins out there which is such a huge dream of mine!

Lots of things have been changing in the past few months, i’ve been extremely busy with work, we had a lovely christmas with all the family. Started saving for my mortgage, Me and Rust hope to buy at the start of next year, then possibly go off and travel the world. We have also been away a lot in London recently, before christmas we went to Winter Wonderland which was so much fun, i would definitely recommend it to anyone who hasn’t been before, it really gets you in the christmas spirit!

So many exciting plans ahead and i cant wait to share them all with you 🙂 Let me know what you guys have been up to and if you have any exciting plans for the year ahead!

lots of love x

Things to be thankful for 

 
In life we tend to focus on the things we don’t have rather than the things we do have.

When you think about it there are a lot of things surrounding you that you can be thankful for which you may take for granted on a daily basis.

1. Your parents. They brought you into this world and they do love you more than you probably think.

2. Pets. Unconditional love.

3. Good health. Even if you’re feeling under the weather, just think you are always better off than someone else and you should be extremely thankful for that.

4. Money. A few pounds makes you richer than a lot of people in this world.

5. Having a home. Having a place to call home, no matter where it is, you should be thankful.

6. Laughter. 🙂

7. Sunshine. Bringing warmth to your day.

8. Time. You always think theres not enough of it.

9. Waking up today.

10. Clean water. Many people lack the access to clean water. Be greatful you have it in your home.

11. Love.

12. The freedom to vote. Never take your right to have a say for granted.

13. Sunsets. Enjoy the simple things in life.

14. Security.

15. Breathing fresh air.

I could carry on forever, as there are so many little things that effect our day to day life which we take for granted.

Remember the simple things 🙂

 
xxxx

my memory jar + suffering with anxiety.

Today I’m going to talk about something really close to my heart. Its a very raw subject for me, however i do find passion in talking about it as i believe it can help others.

(ps this is the first time i have openly spoke about my life so please excuse if i ramble on and don’t make sense)

i have a lot to talk about so i will start from the beginning.

Exactly a year ago i ran away from something that was causing me a lot of pain. Not did i realise that this was making me mentally ill. When people look at the term “mentally ill’ they automatically judge me as a lunatic. Being Mentally ill does not necessarily mean you are unstable, there are so many different illness’.

When someone causes you so much physical pain it can disappear, however the mental side never really goes away.

I was diagnosed with depression back in September 2014, i have never felt so low in myself and i didn’t know how to move on from this feeling. With a lot of help from my mum we chose believe i wasn’t depressed, i didn’t want to be on antidepressants for the rest of my life so we chose different methods of getting back to my normal self.

Luckily my mum works in that area of work so she was a lot of help to me, and i started to feel normal again. However i have always had this constant feeling of worry inside me. It came to January 2015 and i went back to see my doctor and they were impressed with how far i had come in a few months. Being a new year and all i told myself that this would be the best year of my life. I never wanted to go back to the way i was living years before that. So on that note, i started making plans to make sure i had things to focus my mind on and to look forward to!

Unfortunately mid January 2015 the feeling of worry seemed to get worse. Why am i feeling this way after getting my life back together and feeling much happier?

Anxiety.. it crept up more and more everyday and was becoming very aggressive. I couldn’t control it and it was becoming extremely hard to hide from people.

I had no go in me.. i never wanted to get up, i didn’t want to speak to anyone and i felt uncomfortable everywhere i went.  At the age of 20 this is not the way you want to be feeling.

Its also hard because if you don’t suffer from anxiety it is very complicated to understand how someone is feeling. I had a short fuse and i would snap at my dad and brother all the time. i couldn’t handle anything, if people didn’t understand me i didn’t understand them. They both became very uptight with me all the time because they didn’t know how to deal with my emotions. The minute someone raised their voice at me because i was acting agitated, i just flipped, i became very defensive over myself, ran away from the situation and cried.

Its horrific way to feel. You feel so alone and scared and you don’t understand why.

I then noticed myself doing things i wouldn’t have done before. I had to stick to the same routine everyday otherwise i would panic. It wasn’t like me at all. I had to get up, go to work, come home and go straight to my room, and do all the things i told myself i would do the night before.

This drove me insane, it was impossible to stick to a certain routine without anything going wrong, and then when it did it was like the end of the world to me.

All i wanted to do was sleep.. now even that was impossible. and as you can imagine, no sleep= more panic.

I found it very hard to concentrate at work, i dreaded going as i was so anxious i would have an attack whilst there.

I worked myself up so much before i left the house that i would have an attack and then have to eventually leave for work. It was ruining everything for me.

My social life which i thought i was getting back after the years before was rare again. I always made excuses at the last minute as all i could think about was embarrassing myself and panicking.

The only place i feel comfortable in, is my bedroom. And when I’m alone. which is sad.

At this moment in time i am still suffering badly with anxiety, however over the past few weeks i have taken up a few ways of controlling it.

1. stay positive. start believing nothing bad will happen to you, and if it does you face the fear.

2. who cares what everyone else thinks? you’re only human, let them judge if thats what they want to do.

3. surround yourself with people who are willing to help you.

4. take time out. if you need time, just walk away from the problem.

5. back to basics. have a good nights sleep, get some fresh air and eat well!

6. reward yourself. stop kicking yourself for everything you do.

7. and finally… breathe.

Now to talk about My Memory jar.

What is a Memory jar?

My Memory Jar is full of memories (obviously) that my family and friends have shared with me. They have been placed into this jar and when i feel low all i have to do is reach in and read one.

I tend to read one every morning as it helps me start my day off in a positive mood!

If you have read my blog on happiness then you would have read a bit about this jar before!

here are a few examples of some memories my friends and family have put in the jar.

 

    

Now as the days go on i am starting to notice a difference in myself. I avoid thinking the worst and i seem to smile more. I will obviously still go through good and bad phases but I’m confident that i can make more and more progress everyday.

Positivity is key!

xxxx

what are the little things that annoy you?

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So today whilst I’m sat in a hospital bed bored of out my mind I thought I would write a post on the things that bug me in life!

You may agree, or you may disagree.. everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

let me know what annoys you the most!

1. TRAFFIC. – Nothing worse than taking a short journey and then you end up spending double the amount of time in your car due to traffic.

2.Mess – I don’t understand how certain people can be so messy?! how does it not make you angry.

3. When people think they are fat, and intact they are tiny. –  YEAH YOU’RE BLOODY MASSIVE. Just shut up. you are not fat, end of.

4. People walking slow in front of me. – Why did you bother over taking me if you’re going to change your mind and walk at snail pace?

5. People who are late. – Start telling them an hour earlier, then they tend to turn up just on time.

6. People that eat really loudly. – Please just be quiet.. it’s not attractive

7. Fake people. – Why say one thing to someone and something different to another? being 2 faced gets you no where.

8. Chavs – I could rant forever. WHY DO YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO. no, i do not want to hear your rubbish music as I’m walking down the street, that is what head phones are for.

9. People that drive really close behind you – First of all I’m doing the speed limit so get off my ass and calm down.

10. Trains – Why is it that every train i get on is delayed by at least 10 minutes?!

11. People that are constantly on their phone – Get a life. what did you do before you had that phone?

12. Breaking a nail. – Well I was growing that until it broke off and now it looks stupid compared to the others.

13. Bad hair days – Why are you doing this to me? I grew you myself and this is how you repay me.

14. Hot days when you’re working. – No thank you. I do not want to see your sunbathing selfie whilst I’m working inside sweating over a hair dyer.

15. People that get given everything. – Learn to get a job and welcome to the real world 🙂

16. Slow internet – Why am I paying for something that is wasting my time?

17. Insomnia – That’s cool, I didn’t really want to go to sleep tonight.

18. When you don’t know the name of a song!- Happens all the time, you know the lyrics but not the name!

19. Drying up – Longest job in the world.

20. Cyclists – Why are you cycling in the middle of the road knowing full well that there is a massive que of traffic trailing behind you.. it’s not like I have anywhere to be.

21. Algebra – Thank you very much maths teacher for failing me because it’s really ruined my life so far, probably used it everyday since I left school.

22. Applauding in the cinema – Just no? Be quiet I’m trying to watch a film.

23. Kids that own apple products. – At your age I was outside drawing on the pavement.

24. Biting your tongue – Ouch.

25. Standing on a plug – Again ouch.

26. Dirty touch screen devices – Clean your screen please as I cannot see anything.

27. People who have no respect for you and others. – It’s called manners, and it’s not hard.

28. Defrosting my car. – One thing I dread every morning in the winter, gets worse when it’s on the inside of your window too.

29. How cold it is when you get out of the shower – Just had the hottest shower ever to jump into my room AKA Antarctica.

30. When my makeup won’t set on my nose. – All girls will agree.. why is my nose still red after applying 7 layers of makeup.